If you’re as chronically online as I am, you’ve probably seen a new celebrity get canceled each week. Whether it's because of questionable old tweets or concerning political views, it seems that Hollywood’s grip on the masses has been shaken. This increased concern about people’s actions has spread to college campuses, including our beloved Binghamton University. It’s difficult to find any group or individual on campus who has not yet found themself entrenched in some sort of controversy, and it's even more difficult to figure out exactly what to do in these situations.
While the idea of “canceling” certain groups may seem appealing, I have come up with a far better solution, a solution that would assuredly prevent anybody from committing further wrongs. We need to start branding people. I don’t necessarily mean branding wrongdoers’ skin with hot irons, although this is a promising option, but instead branding people Scarlet Letter style. Imagine a campus where, when you meet someone, a big red letter has been sewn on their shirt that perfectly explains all of their personal failures. Imagine it now: B for ‘bitch who cuts in line at Einstein;’ D for ‘deodorant rejector;’ S for ‘smoker who repeatedly sets off the fire alarm in their building;’ F for ‘frat boy;’ and SA for ‘one of the bastards who is responsible for an increase to the activities fee on our semester bills.’
I wholeheartedly believe that Binghamton’s community would do nothing but benefit from this idea, as we would know exactly who to ostracize and throw tomatoes at on our walks to and fro the lecture hall. If you agree with me, email President Harvey Stenger to share your opinion (and don’t forget to address him as President Stengie in your greeting- he refuses to read any email that doesn’t.)
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