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Helmcue Clamwax

How to Pirate Textbooks and the Like

Updated: Apr 2



Tired of forking over hundreds (on top of the thousands you're already paying to be here) for required course materials that are either beaten up almost beyond recognition from previous owners or in such pristine condition that their one-time-use leaves a hole in your heart almost as large as the one you're burning through your pockets? Couldn't be me; I haven't paid for a textbook in years! Would you, too, like to live like this, live like me? Who wouldn't? I'm a gosh-darn genius! But let's cut to the chase here - you read the title, so you know what's happening here. Granted, as a scholar of Harpur College, I have little to no required software that's locked behind a paywall and most of what I need often lies in the public domain. Nevertheless...


Library Genesis

Library Genesis is a fantastic resource that holds a wealth of literature from textbooks to surprisingly modern novels. You can always pay the up-and-coming authors whose success hinges on universities absorbing their work into its curriculums later. Once you find whichever text you're searching for, do not be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of download options presented; just go with whatever feels right, man. I usually go for the first link available and work my way down from there if eduroam gets suspicious, which it only does so on occasion. Install an EPUB Reader to smoothen up this process too.


Typing "(X Text) PDF" into a Search Engine

You heard it here first, folks. Sometimes a little effort can go a long way! Does anyone use anything else besides Chrome? I knew someone who used DuckDuckGo once, which, like, I wonder what was going on there. I personally love having all my information gathered for advertisers and government surveillance. That being said, OperaGX users... Well, what can I even say? It goes without saying. You know what you are.


Internet Archive

The Internet Archive is considered one of the most important websites on the internet for media preservation. That's what the YouTubers who dedicate their lives to summarizing forum threads and Reddit posts to me while I fold my laundry tell me, anyway. Given the 20,000,000 books they have on file, I would say it is safe to assume that perhaps they are right after all. Although this list is in no hierarchical order whatsoever, I am placing it below a simple Google search as odds are it will pop up if it holds what you're seeking anyway. Where the Archive differs from Library Genesis beyond its appearance in typical search engine results, however, lies in something you could have probably assumed through basic context clues; its plethora of alternative content. Need to experience the Gorillaz Flash games from the best time to be alive ever, the early aughts as we're now calling them suddenly? Perhaps there's some sort of film you need to watch for Kino 101 or as a means to satisfy your cinephilic tendencies, you sick pervert freak. Whatever the case may be, the Internet Archive just might have you covered. I should know, since that's where I got these SpongeBob episodes from! Your ability to CTRL+F your way through its texts might be a bit hindered, though, I feel I should note.


KissMovies

Now, this is solely for those in the "and the like" camp as you may be shocked to hear. KissMovies and its derivatives are quite self-explanatory, so I will only mention this: whatever you do, do not go in raw. Please install or turn on an ad block, any ad block, but preferably the one called AdBlock. You won't last a minute playing the games that will otherwise bombard your screen. YouTube might be pissed at you for doing this, but that's where the secondary ad block comes in.


BitTorrent

Some may be pulling their collars and fanning their now exposed necks after reading the term "torrent," and I cannot blame them for doing so. This is true piracy bitch, we clown in this motherfucker. You can take your sensitive ass back to widely available websites. Just kidding, that is a common internet phrase people say in jest. Torrents are just as easily available but probably more dangerous. I don't know. Through BitTorrent, a friend installed FL Studio on my computer though I haven't used it as much as I should and I installed both Touhou Koumakyou ~ The Embodiment of Scarlet Devil and the Five Nights at Freddy's film the day it released despite having access to Peacock. My computer was already beyond slow so I can't really confirm one way or another if this website/program will brick yours. Do people torrent books? Probably. Library Genesis offers a torrenting option, so this can help with that. The Pirate Bay works too, I imagine. Oh, and one more thing...


APRIL FOOLS!!!!

PEOPLE WHO DOWNLOAD TEXTBOOKS WILL BE FINED OR SENT TO JAIL FOR THEFT. PIRACYIS ILLEGAL AND HURTS THE INDUSTRY. I PAY FOR MY TEXTBOOKS. SO SHOULD YOU. IT'S ONLY FAIR. WE ARE TRACING THE WEBSITE TRAFFIC FOR THIS ARTICLE AND CONTACTING UPD WITH YOUR IP ADDRESSES. THINK TWICE NEXT TIME.

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