Binghamton’s Healthy Campus Initiative has had a number of successes and failures, and the campaign’s newest event has caused quite a stir among the student populace. Recent B-Engaged posts have detailed a “classic round of the Aztec ballgame” in the West Gym, where massive stone ballcourts were revealed after a brief six-year construction project. A statement from Campus Recreation noted that the game would be “completely accurate” to its original form, the event concluding with a “precious offering to our Lord of the Sun, Huitzilopochtli.”
“It’s really going to be great for the campus. We hope that the ballgame is going to be an opportunity for students to get active and enjoy each other’s company with some good old friendly competition.” said Campus Rec’s representative, whose pupils had dramatically dilated. “The University is also seeking to appease the great Huitzilopochtli. If we play our cards right, His divine influence can bring back the sun and finally end the constant rainfall.”
What exactly Campus Rec meant by the phrase “precious offering” was unclear. Upon further questioning, the department’s representative refused to directly comment:
“Ah- you know. It’s all been very well-planned. We’ve got this beautiful obsidian blade prepared with Baxter’s face engraved on it. It’s really something. It cost about as much as three out-of-state students’ tuitions. Hey, this interview’s getting kind of lame. You want some peyote? We bought a shit-ton of it for the game. I’ve been tripping balls for the past two days. I’m not even sure if you’re real.”
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