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Op-ed: The Destruction of the Death Star was an Inside Job, and Here’s Why

Lincoln LaMastro

Nov 273 min read

Arts and Culture

Op-ed: The Destruction of the Death Star was an Inside Job, and Here’s Why

The destruction of the first Death Star (aka the DS-1) at the Battle of Yavin by the Rebel Alliance in the year 0 BBY was one of the...

21 views

OP-ED: STOP BOTHERING ME! I DO NOT HAVE A MILK FETISH!

Archer Swelldin

Sep 212 min read

Opinion

OP-ED: STOP BOTHERING ME! I DO NOT HAVE A MILK FETISH!

I’m not kidding. PLEASE stop making fun of me for having a milk fetish, because I do NOT have one. The rumor, which is FALSE, just so...

36 views

Op-Ed: I Am Not Receiving Enough Satanic Propaganda

Solomon Christiansen

Sep 83 min read

Opinion

Op-Ed: I Am Not Receiving Enough Satanic Propaganda

Greetings, my Brothers and Sisters at Binghamton University. I am writing to you about an issue faced by those of us of upstanding moral...

41 views

Op-Ed: Cancel Culture is Over. Let’s Start Branding People.

Sue Donim

Apr 102 min read

Opinion

Op-Ed: Cancel Culture is Over. Let’s Start Branding People.

If you’re as chronically online as I am, you’ve probably seen a new celebrity get canceled each week. Whether it's because of...

35 views

NEW AMAZON PRIME VIDEO SHOW SPARKS CONTROVERSY AND DEGENERACY

Andrew Schiller

Feb 253 min read

Opinion

NEW AMAZON PRIME VIDEO SHOW SPARKS CONTROVERSY AND DEGENERACY

BINGHAMTON, NY – Wow, the entertainment industry is so fresh right now! There’s the Avatar remake, the Halo adaptation, the new Star Wars...

74 views

Sue Donim

Feb 191 min read

Opinion

Op-Ed: Sex Isn't Real

As Sex Week came to a close last week, I found myself thinking: “No way. No way that’s actually a thing.” Thus, I set out on a research...

37 views

12 Signs That You Are Part of the Alien Conspiracy

Yuri Mumm

Oct 3, 20232 min read

Opinion

12 Signs That You Are Part of the Alien Conspiracy

1. You can decrypt this extraterrestrial message: Is Baby Gronk the New Drip King, or is he just getting Rizzed Up by Livvy? Only an...

26 views

Here's What These Graduating Seniors Have to Say About Their Time at BU

David Belkin

May 11, 20232 min read

University News

Here's What These Graduating Seniors Have to Say About Their Time at BU

Inspired by the #HumansofBinghamton hashtag on Binghamton University’s main Instagram page, I, too, wanted to highlight students who are...

115 views

Op-Ed: Am I the Asshole for “Forgetting” to Check on My Prisoner (M66) From 6 to 6:30 AM? (PREMIUM)

b/anonymousprisonguard

Apr 24, 20234 min read

Opinion

Op-Ed: Am I the Asshole for “Forgetting” to Check on My Prisoner (M66) From 6 to 6:30 AM? (PREMIUM)

Hey BUTTHeads! This story happened a while ago, but it’s been bothering me so I wanted to get it off my chest and find out if I’m really...

54 views

Helmcue Clamwax

Apr 21, 20234 min read

Arts and Culture

The Best Films to Watch While High

With all the attention geared towards yesterday’s rank festivities, the coast is now clear for those who wish to “light it up” in a most...

87 views

Piper Dreemowitz

Apr 17, 20232 min read

Opinion

Op-Ed: Arguments Against the Snow Day

Here at the BUTT, it’s our imperative to unpack issues affecting our students, no matter how controversial. Today, I humbly ask our...

33 views

Five Ways to Celebrate International Day of Sadness at BU

Brendan Boyce

Mar 28, 20232 min read

Opinion

Five Ways to Celebrate International Day of Sadness at BU

March 20th marks the tenth anniversary of the International Day of Happiness, a holiday meant to emphasize the importance of happiness in...

49 views

David Belkin

Mar 14, 20231 min read

Opinion

Top Six AI Article Pitches

During my tenure at the Binghamton Union Times and Tribune, I’ve been able to think creatively and collaborate with lots of talented...

31 views

David Belkin

Feb 22, 20232 min read

Opinion

Op-Ed: Leave Disney Adults Alone

Recently, Disney adults have been the recipients of unwarranted hate online from naysayers and trolls alike, and it’s kind of...

88 views

Op-Ed: Why I'll Be Going As Jesus Next Santa-Con

Nathan Halsey

Dec 4, 20222 min read

Opinion

Op-Ed: Why I'll Be Going As Jesus Next Santa-Con

I will admit, readers, I get pretty upset around this time of year. Once Mariah Carey kicks off, and that fat red man begins popping up...

27 views

Op-List: Top Five Slurs To Use Upon Encountering a Koopa

Crisp Rat

Dec 2, 20223 min read

Opinion

Op-List: Top Five Slurs To Use Upon Encountering a Koopa

Koopas (aka Koopa Troopas) are turtle-like, anthropomorphic he/theys who exist in the Mario Universe. But that’s not important. What is...

80 views

Op-Ed: Why I’m a Big, Dumb, Stupid Poopyhead

Elon Musk

Nov 30, 20223 min read

Opinion

Op-Ed: Why I’m a Big, Dumb, Stupid Poopyhead

Hi everyone. It's me, Elon Musk, champion of free speech and “memelords” alike. My recent acquisition of Twitter - a purchase I...

63 views

Ye

Nov 28, 20222 min read

Opinion

Op-Ed: Takeoff Took Off Too Soon

Who is taking off? Kirshnik Khari Ball, that's who. #DED XD uwu. Takeoff took off late November 1st 2022 in a bowling alley. Strike am I...

54 views

5 Ways To Tell If Your Roommate is a Pod Person Through Their Body Language

Max Lieber

Nov 8, 20223 min read

Opinion

5 Ways To Tell If Your Roommate is a Pod Person Through Their Body Language

We get it. Living with roommates isn't easy. Sometimes, they do something that really gets on your nerves. However, there's a fine line...

232 views

Red Flags That the "Slutty Cop" at the Bar is Actually an Op

David Belkin

Oct 29, 20222 min read

Local News

Red Flags That the "Slutty Cop" at the Bar is Actually an Op

It is a truism that criminals are more likely to commit crimes while under the belief that cops aren’t in the room. This phenomenon is...

65 views

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