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THE BINGHAMTON UNIVERSITY TIMES TRIBUNE
BU's only intentionally satirical news source
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We Interviewed a Man Who Watched the Entire Chris-Chan Documentary; You Won't Believe What He Said
Following “CWCville Forced to Celebrate Chris Chan’s Birthday”, many of our readers have reached out to us regarding the subject of this...
Max Lieber and Alec Wainar
Mar 19, 20223 min read
47 views


Lead Guitarist for Punk Band Learns One New Chord, Fans Call Him "Sellout"
Eugene Vicious, leader of local punk band Plastic Semen, has recently found himself in hot water after his controversial decision to...
Sam Wheeler
Mar 11, 20222 min read
44 views


CWCville Forced to Celebrate Chris-Chan’s Birthday
Save them, GodJesus. No, actually, GodJesus help us all. Although former CWCville Mayor and real-life monster Christine Weston Chandler...
Maxwell Maceluch
Feb 24, 20223 min read
35 views


Snoop Dogg Drops Out of Halftime Lineup After Finding Out That the Super Bowl Isn’t a Giant Pipe
Snoop Dogg, a celebrity stoner who also raps in his free time, has reportedly dropped the Super Bowl LVI Halftime show like it’s hot...
Brendan Boyce
Feb 11, 20221 min read
28 views


Bill Murray Murders New Jersey Groundhog to Escape Time Loop
The quiet village of Milltown canceled their annual Groundhog Day celebration after the unexpected death of their prized groundhog,...
Brendan Boyce
Feb 9, 20221 min read
19 views


BU Times Tribune
Feb 3, 20220 min read
34 views

JoJo Fan Suddenly Bisexual Now That Main Character is a Woman
JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is gay. Not in a disparaging sense; essays have been written on how its flamboyant fashion, unorthodox poses,...
BU Times Tribune
Dec 14, 20212 min read
58 views

Every Animated Spider-Man Movie, Ranked
With Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Part One) coming out next year, it is the superior time to look back at and rank the one...
Maxwell Maceluch
Dec 7, 20213 min read
45 views

Nation's Aunts Post Pandora Wrapped on Facebook
This week while everyone was enjoying their Spotify Wrapped 2021, your aunt was probably flexing her generic Pandora Wrapped to her...
Brendan Boyce
Dec 3, 20211 min read
30 views

Bethesda and Taylor Swift Collaborate To Release Skyrim (Taylor’s Version)
Taylor Swift set the internet alight with her ten-minute version of “All too Well,” the smash hit off of her newest album, but she isn't...
Ethan Rosenblum
Nov 18, 20212 min read
27 views

Man Lives in Constant Fear James Corden is the Only Good Person in Hollywood
As another week passes by yet again, it’s important to reflect on all of the Hollywood actors who were recently cancelled for one reason...
BU Times Tribune
Nov 10, 20212 min read
22 views

James Corden Performs Stand-Up in Binghamton: Dozens Injured
Infamous late night “comedy” host James Corden did a stand-up set in Binghamton on Friday, much to his chagrin. Corden, or "The...
Brendan Boyce
Oct 28, 20212 min read
40 views


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"We Decided to Cast James Corden as Tom Bombadil," Says Evil Billionaire Jeff Bezos
During his most recent interview with the BUTT on matters that don't really concern him, everyone’s favorite evil billionaire, Jeff...
BU Times Tribune
Oct 20, 20212 min read
58 views

Audience Not Buying Zodiac Killer Died Offscreen: "He'll Come Back Next Season"
True crime fans were livid this week after the screenplay for David Fincher’s newest season of his Netflix serial killer docuseries...
Brendan Boyce
Oct 13, 20212 min read
32 views


"You Fools! Do You Know What You've Done?" Cries Distraught Jaime Spears
Following his loss in court to his own daughter, Jamie Spears spoke to the media about how damaging it could be to the world to give...
Brendan Boyce
Oct 3, 20212 min read
23 views

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BU Times Tribune
Sep 23, 20210 min read
7 views


Man Who Only Watches Popular Movies Gets Major "Star Wars Vibes" From Fiddler on the Roof
For his entire 21-year life, Kyle Reynolds has only watched movies that film students would call “popular” or “blockbusters”. Reynolds...
Alex Weiner
Sep 15, 20212 min read
27 views
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